Readings ...

Fruits and vegetables language


Original text


Par les temps actuels, prenons le temps de rire et des vitamines.
Il faut manger au moins cinq fruits et légumes par jour.
Je suis allé voir mon banquier. Il m'a dit :
Vos comptes, c'est la fin des haricots.
Vous n'avez quasiment plus d'oseille.
Vos placements ont fait chou blanc.
Dans quelques jours, vous n'aurez plus un radis.
Si vous n'êtes pas content, vous pouvez toujours prendre un avocat.
Je lui ai répondu :
Si je comprends bien, je n'ai plus de poire pour la soif.
Plus de cerise sur le gâteau.
Mes économies sont mi figues mi raisins.
En plus, je ne peux pas ramener ma fraise.
Toutes ces années de labeur pour des prunes et des cacahuètes!
Et qui c'est le cornichon dans l'histoire?
C'est ma pomme.



Literal translation


By current times, let us take time to laugh and to take vitamins.
It's necessary to eat at least five fruits and vegetables a day.
I went to see my banker. He told me :
Your accounts, it's the end of beans.
You don't have sorrel anymore.
Your investments have made white cabbage.
In a few days, you won't have a radish.
If you are not satisfied, you can always take an avocado.
I answered him :
If I understand well, I have no more pear for the thirst.
No more cherry on the cake.
My savings are half figs and half grapes.
Besides, I can't bring my strawberry.
All these years of labour for plums and peanuts!
And who is the pickle in this story?
It's my apple.


Explanation


Par les temps actuels, prenons le temps de rire et des vitamines.
By current times, let us take time to laugh and to take vitamins.

Il faut manger au moins cinq fruits et légumes par jour.
It's necessary to eat at least five fruits and vegetables a day.

Je suis allé voir mon banquier. Il m'a dit :
I went to see my banker. He told me :

Vos comptes, c'est la fin des haricots.
Your accounts, it's the end of beans.
French Slang : la fin des haricots = the end of all
So : Your accounts, it's the end of all.

Vous n'avez quasiment plus d'oseille.
You don't have sorrel anymore.
French Slang : oseille = money
So : You don't have money any more.

Vos placements ont fait chou blanc.
Your investments have made white cabbage.
French Slang : faire chou blanc = to fail
So : Your investments failed.

Dans quelques jours, vous n'aurez plus un radis.
In a few days, you won't have a radish.
French Slang : radis = piece of money
So : In a few days, you won't have a cent any more.

Si vous n'êtes pas content, vous pouvez toujours prendre un avocat.
If you are not satisfied, you can always take an avocado.
Homonym : avocat = avocado or lawyer
So : If you are not satisfied, you can always take a lawyer.

Je lui ai répondu :
I answered him :

Si je comprends bien, je n'ai plus de poire pour la soif.
If I understand well, I have no more pear for the thirst.
French Slang : garder une poire pour la soif = to spare
So : If I understand well, I have no more savings.

Plus de cerise sur le gâteau.
No more cherry on the cake.
French Slang : cerise sur le gâteau = benefits
So : No more benefits.

Mes économies sont mi figues mi raisins.
My savings are half figs and half grapes.
French Slang : mi-figues mi-raisins = neither fish nor fowl
So : My savings are neither fish nor fowl.

En plus, je ne peux pas ramener ma fraise.
Besides, I can't bring my strawberry.
French Slang : ramener sa fraise = to be presumptuous
So : Besides, I can't be proud.

Toutes ces années de labeur pour des prunes et des cacahuètes!
All these years of labour for plums and peanuts!
French Slang : labeur pour des prunes et des cacahètes = labour for nothing
So : All theses years of labour for nothing.

Et qui c'est le cornichon dans l'histoire?
And who is the pickle in this story?
French Slang : cornichon = dumb, goofy
So : And who is the dumb in this story?

C'est ma pomme.
It's my apple.
French Slang : ma pomme = me
So : It's me.


Final text


I went to see my banker. He told me :
Your accounts, it's the end of all.
You don't have money any more.
Your investments failed.
In a few days, you won't have a cent any more.
If you are not satisfied, you can always take a lawyer.
I answered him :
If I understand well, I have no more savings.
No more benefits.
My savings are neither fish nor fowl.
Besides, I can't be proud.
All theses years of labour for nothing.
And who is the dumb in this story?
It's me.







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